How to Be A Manager (And Not Be a Dick About it)

We’ve all had our fair share of experience with different types of managers and bosses throughout the years. A good manager can make a horrible job enjoyable. And having an asshole manager can take your dream job and turn it into a steaming pile of shit. I’m going to focus on these managers and more importantly what not to do to become one. Unless you want to be one. In that case, I am asking you to stop being a dick.

Let me. tell you a bit about my management experience. I have absolutely none. In fact, I’m pretty excited that I’ve been able to guide myself this far in life. What I do have is experience working for people that like to leave their own brand of shit smear all over your day. This article isn’t about incompetent managers. It’s about assholes.

Not All of Your Employees Are Dumbasses

Everyone fucks up. It’s what we do. It’s an integral part of being a human. That said, don’t jump to conclusions any time a mistake is made. Sure, everyone needs to be held accountable and if a person royally fucked up then they deserve to be punished. But it probably doesn’t hurt to get the other side of the story before you throw them a shit sandwich of accusations. Hindsight is 20/20. There’s often great reasoning behind bad decisions being made. Follow their process and discuss where they went wrong and what can be approved. But again, there’s no reason to be a dick about it.

The Conspiracy is That There Is No Conspiracy

I once had a manager that thought everyone was trying to screw him over by leaving the company.Having a personal phone meant you were looking to bail. He would monitor Facebook posts for signs that employees were bad mouthing the company or looking for other opportunities. Sick days, vacation days, and working from home all resulted in the third degree. The end result? People hit the point of saying fuck it and ran for the hills. If you are pretty convinced that there is a similar conspiracy against you there is one of two options. Either you are wrong and driving your employees away. Or you are right. Which then begs the question why are all my underlings looking to screw me over and leave the company? Either you’re a shitty manager and you need to find out how to improve. But it’s more likely that you’re being a dick and need to stop it.

To Be Continued…